I have NEVER met a single soul that did not experience frustrations and disappointments at some point in life. It infiltrates every aspect of life at one point or another and to different degrees. Any relationship you have will come with frustration. Any job you have will come with frustration - because jobs generally come with relationships of some sort. Even jobs that do not come with co-workers will still come with frustrations. Sometimes, many times, the frustrations and disappointments are from us.
Before I go on, let me be clear. Some frustrations and disappointments do not fit into the category of this post. Some of them are much bigger and more overwhelming than a blog post and might need counseling to work through. What I intend to describe are the molehills that we make into a mountain. Only you can determine what that is for your life.
So, the question is, can some frustrations and disappointments be overcome? Of course! Otherwise, we'd all be sad and frustrated 24/7.
In order to figure out how to do that, let's first look at the cause. Frustrations and disappointments are a result of misplaced expectations. Big ones, little ones, etc. They come from expecting one thing and getting another.
Let me say that again - for me! Frustrations and disappointments are a result of misplaced expectations. There are many things in life that I would love to have. Some things are out of my reach, especially if they involve another person because - shocker - people don't always do what I want them to do. Honestly, that is probably a good decision on their part many times!
If I want to reduce frustrations and disappointments, I need to examine what I am expecting.
So, now that we know where frustrations and disappointments originate, how do we overcome them, or at least some of them? The only way to overcome frustrations and disappointments is to recalibrate our expectations. In short, we need to change what we expect.
What does this look like for a teacher?
Well, for me, it was learning about brain research! I taught from a textbook for years and was disappointed and frustrated with myself and my students, mostly myself.
What were my expectations?
1. Students would study on their own.
2. Students loved grammar as much as I did.
3. Students had time to do an hour of homework...for MY class alone.
4. Homework for acquiring a language works.
5. The textbook is always right.
After 15 years of seeing that this wasn't working and then reading research, I changed my expectations. Man! What a difference!
What were my new expectations?
1. Students can learn without homework.
2. Language acquisition, not language learning that occurs in ELA, is a result of paying attention to something interesting.
3. The textbook is sometimes right but is never the Bible!
4. Students don't care about what I like. (This was a particularly difficult pill to swallow!)
5. Students pay attention and learn when you talk about them!
Every subject and every grade and every school and every teacher is different. I am not providing a one-size-fits-none approach for how to recalibrate your expectations. I'm just saying it's useful.
So, I have included a free journal entry page for your own teacher reflection. You can print as many as you like to do as often as you like. I hope it helps you to re-think the areas that are frustrating and disappointing. If it does, let me know.
I would love to hear any other thoughts you might have!